Dating Widowers: In Their Words

A few comments they have been questionable from friends, and even family. To a degree I understand but the fact of the matter is that no one really knows when the timing is right and it’s not going to be right for everyone at the same time. Everyone looks at it differently so ultimately it’s up to the person who’s actually the widow or widower.

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For the first 2 years my heart ached every minute of every day. To a slightly lesser degree, my heart continued to ache for the next 2 years and still does at more random times for random periods. There have been times when I have resigned myself to the fact that the day he died my heart went with him. (Still trying to wrap my head around the concept but it’s not unique to this site & was some relief to me to see it in print.) I am still my husband’s wife.

Widow Online dating sites for Widows, Widowers and Separated People

What was acceptable and common before might not be the case now. When you are out of the game for years, it’s natural not to follow new tendencies. They have not been dating apps back in those days, people used to meet each other on social occasions and get close by real conversation. It’s an acceptable issue, fretting that a widow will compare the following relationship to one that concerned a tragic conclusion. Remember that it really is human instinct evaluate every link to a previous one, but not every comparison is actually a poor one.

One Clover later I cut off all contact again. This time I am not going back because in this experience I realized that I am definitely not ready to love. I want the companionship but not the feeling that I have to try to convert my mind over to loving someone so different than my husband. Using my heart and trying to love someone right now is like driving a car with no air in the tires. It hurts every moment and it isn’t the fault of the guy trying to love me and it isn’t my fault either.

Mostly I’ve been taken off guard by seeing unexpected photos or hearing unexpected stories or discoveries that relate to him/them. It’s still early in our relationship and it’s very difficult for me to figure things out. I acknowledge and accept that he will always be her husband, perfect match, soulmate & the one she wants to be with, but I fell in love with her, not her and her husband. As I mentioned, I don’t have many friends and so I haven’t asked her many questions about her husband because I don’t feel that’s my place or something I need to know in detail. I understand having pictures, but I feel it’s seen as an insecurity that I say I wouldn’t be comfortable with them in our bedroom.

I do not know if I will marry again but , to share, widows clubs, not grief medical center groups have helped be. Both are important, for me, I wanted to be active. You can choose to be as young or old as you want to be.

Entering the Dating World Again on Widow Dating Sites

If you would like to sit with a friend- pls make sure that you walk into the event together and sit down together. Every member must post a RECENT picture of their FACE ONLY in their profile. This is to allow our members to recognize each other when we meet in public places. If you find yourself forgetting simple dating etiquette, don’t worry about it.

Anyway, I am writing this because no relationship is a walk in the park and easy, but I think it is not supposed to be so difficult and full of pain. It’s important to apply the same standards to a widower as you would to any other guy. The only difference is you might need to have more patience. Having standards doesn’t mean you aren’t empathetic to the pain he’s gone through.

If you think about it, it’s easy to trace the evolution of the whole online dating phenomenon. It’s a consequence of email, instant messaging, chat rooms and social networking. The internet has brought lonely hearts together in a way that never was possible before. The natural extension, of course, is online dating.

Please get into counseling and work through whatever issues you have that make this bother you. We have room for another, but we will never ever lose sight of or the love we have for our deceased spouses. I am a widower and I have been dating a widow for the past 3 months and find that we both have similar backgrounds and life experiences. We both had long term marriages for over 35 years.